From my first day at art college, to starting my first job, through to me writing this very article; my whole creative life (so far) has been one continuous, desperately anxious hell. I know this sounds dramatic, but I mean it.
My creative anxiety shows up in countless ways: I don’t feel good enough at my job, I panic that my opinion is wrong, I worry that I’m not on my A-game 100% of the time, I kick myself for losing concentration, I worry about whether my craft is right for me, I often feel unmotivated to finish making work, I feel bad if I’m not working in a spare hour, I talk myself out of making projects before they’ve even begun because I think they’re not good enough ideas, and – the cherry on top – when walking home after an anxious day at work, I even worry about whether I’m going to have beans or cheese on my jacket potato for tea.
“Good for you, Adam. Lots of creative people have anxiety, but worse!” I hear you say. I know they do – and I’m taking nothing away from the crippling reality of anxiety for so many. This is just my experience, and I hope it’s helpful to others who might struggle much more than I do.